you're trying not to tell him you love him, and you're trying to choke down the feeling
A breathless chuckle rumbles through Nate, his hands slowing so he can focus on the attuned. The burst of revulsion that follows his suggestion should be less surprising. It was supposed to sting, but not hurt. Nate manages to stay quiet, lets Sunjata have his outburst, not saying a word in the face of it. Not until Nate is sure the other man is finished. I barely want to follow my own traditions. There's a sharp grin on the ascended's face, more of a grimace than anything else. We're doing whatever we want.
Nate hums, jaw working as he chews his words carefully. "Dunno if big is right." He admits, his voice distracted and rough. "Just... more than one." It's hard to know if Sunjata understands, given how he'd grown up, the distance that had been forced between him and Saartjie. But at the same time, that's what he wants to avoid, that isolation, that loneliness. "We need to talk about it first though. I'm not... I can't do this again." A grim seriousness enters his voice, a warning, though honestly he has a hard time believing anything of this magnitude will happen again.
Inside? It's a silent suggestion, this moment of reprieve only able to last so long. He can make some coffee, they can... sit at opposite ends of the sofa, and... talk. Just thinking it sounds like a chore. Nate would rather throw his arms around his husband and pull him close, would rather sit silently in an easy embrace.
Nate hums, jaw working as he chews his words carefully. "Dunno if big is right." He admits, his voice distracted and rough. "Just... more than one." It's hard to know if Sunjata understands, given how he'd grown up, the distance that had been forced between him and Saartjie. But at the same time, that's what he wants to avoid, that isolation, that loneliness. "We need to talk about it first though. I'm not... I can't do this again." A grim seriousness enters his voice, a warning, though honestly he has a hard time believing anything of this magnitude will happen again.
Inside? It's a silent suggestion, this moment of reprieve only able to last so long. He can make some coffee, they can... sit at opposite ends of the sofa, and... talk. Just thinking it sounds like a chore. Nate would rather throw his arms around his husband and pull him close, would rather sit silently in an easy embrace.
& you're trembling and he reaches over
and touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist
NATE
