no emotion that's worth having

SAMUEL i am the ocean, crawling madly at your moon. and with one wanton whoop — Sam was expecting Zeph to understand from his voice the gravity and seriousness of the situation, just how grim and dark the truth was; the laugh was a surprise, and one that nearly offended him, the bookmaker looking up with a face that could only be described as 'grumpy' which would likely only further add to Zeph's doubt that he could have hurt anybody. "No, Zeph. It was more than that." At first Sam had wanted to avoid this entirely, to not tell anyone, but now he found himself wanting to prove to Zeph that he could do something like that - that he was bad enough, messed up enough. As the familiar thick choking feeling came to his throat, he knew what he was doing wasn't healthy, wouldn't be good...but he kept doing it anyway, already picturing his friends face as he said it. "I ki-killed someone. By accident, but I still did it. On the beach. S...someone saw, too, so I had to leave. So they wouldn't arrest me." — i melt into a sycophantic soup, & all that's left to do, is giggle, fawn, and swoon.