CHULANE
why do things happen with no reason or rhyme?
why does it feel like we're running out of time?
why does it feel like we're running out of time?
And he heard the word again - time How many times would he hear it, he wondered, before he actually felt it? How many times had he said as much to others going through loss and grief? Once again, he reflected on how Korbin must have felt, having everyone tell him that it would all be OK, in time, how frustrating it was when you just wanted all the grief and suffering to be said and done and over.
But grief didn't work that way. And on some distant level, in some way, he agreed with the healer, even if on whatever level he was currently on, he didn't. Maybe I didn't deserve her, the thought cascaded through his mind, not for the first time. Maybe I don't deserve Auni, either, sadness coiled through him, but it met resistance when it crashed against the newfound bond that was irrevocably linked to his soul.
Auni looked to him with deep, dark eyes, nosing worriedly against his hand. He relented, giving him more pats, letting go of the doubts. He had to be here, to be present, for Auni, so that they could be present for each other, going forward.
"Oh, sorry," he was pulled from his reverie as Loren rose, shaking his head at his own incompetence as a host. "I'm a terrible host. I'm not fussed - what did you feel like?" Appetite and desire to eat had mostly fled him, as he reflected back on how the healer had found him just before, at the pub, and at the conversation that had brought them here. It felt like forever ago already, even if it had all happened within the last hour. He eased himself back onto the couch, groaning softly with the effort, resigned to being a relatively useless lump for the rest of the evening.
But grief didn't work that way. And on some distant level, in some way, he agreed with the healer, even if on whatever level he was currently on, he didn't. Maybe I didn't deserve her, the thought cascaded through his mind, not for the first time. Maybe I don't deserve Auni, either, sadness coiled through him, but it met resistance when it crashed against the newfound bond that was irrevocably linked to his soul.
Auni looked to him with deep, dark eyes, nosing worriedly against his hand. He relented, giving him more pats, letting go of the doubts. He had to be here, to be present, for Auni, so that they could be present for each other, going forward.
"Oh, sorry," he was pulled from his reverie as Loren rose, shaking his head at his own incompetence as a host. "I'm a terrible host. I'm not fussed - what did you feel like?" Appetite and desire to eat had mostly fled him, as he reflected back on how the healer had found him just before, at the pub, and at the conversation that had brought them here. It felt like forever ago already, even if it had all happened within the last hour. He eased himself back onto the couch, groaning softly with the effort, resigned to being a relatively useless lump for the rest of the evening.
how do we keep going, through the dark?
why are we here at all, lost in the dark?
why are we here at all, lost in the dark?
