i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all
There's no complaint, no resistance as Sunjata is pulled in close, his face hidden. Nate's eyes close, slowly, and he has a moment, a childish flare of temper. His eyes should be burning. This, whatever it was, whatever it is, because God's know it's still swirling in his chest, gnawing at his mind, could be dealt with easily. If he could feel. If he could distract himself. It was unfair. And the whole twist has another low hum of negativity washing over him from outside, a needling in his mind that gets more insistent as his anger surrounding his ascension grows.
It's unrelated, as much as any of his issues are unrelated to his ascension, his mind trying to pull him in a different direction, to focus him somewhere else so he doesn't have to face whatever this is. Guilt brings him back, like it usually does, the pleading tone in Sunjata's voice, and the pressure of claws. He's trying so hard, and Nate doesn't even know how to meet him in the middle, doesn't know what to put words to and what to let slip by, for the moment.
Whatever you want to say. It's an offer that seems to good to be true, that he doesn't want to trust, that he has to convince himself to trust, because it's Sunjata, and he wants to, he does trust the attuned. "I..." One thing at a time, so what comes first? "I need to be needed. I'd like to... I want to be needed, by uh, by you. But..." And here his voice trembles, not cracking, but coming closer than it should, than he has any right to. "You don't really need me. Fuck, I mean..." What does he mean? What the fuck is he trying to say? "You're... you come from a place that I'd be dead in. Yea? I don't... I'm not..."
Nate falls silent for a long moment, clenching his jaw so tightly he can hear his teeth groan with the pressure of it, that he's sure he's shaking with it, just a little. It's another thing that doesn't actually help, but that forces him to think. "I don't fucking know." There's the edge of a laugh that comes with it, something hysterical. "I want you to be safe. I know you can... take care of yourself. But I... I still want to..." His arms grow tighter, pull Sunjata in closer, as much a trailing off as it is an example.
It's unrelated, as much as any of his issues are unrelated to his ascension, his mind trying to pull him in a different direction, to focus him somewhere else so he doesn't have to face whatever this is. Guilt brings him back, like it usually does, the pleading tone in Sunjata's voice, and the pressure of claws. He's trying so hard, and Nate doesn't even know how to meet him in the middle, doesn't know what to put words to and what to let slip by, for the moment.
Whatever you want to say. It's an offer that seems to good to be true, that he doesn't want to trust, that he has to convince himself to trust, because it's Sunjata, and he wants to, he does trust the attuned. "I..." One thing at a time, so what comes first? "I need to be needed. I'd like to... I want to be needed, by uh, by you. But..." And here his voice trembles, not cracking, but coming closer than it should, than he has any right to. "You don't really need me. Fuck, I mean..." What does he mean? What the fuck is he trying to say? "You're... you come from a place that I'd be dead in. Yea? I don't... I'm not..."
Nate falls silent for a long moment, clenching his jaw so tightly he can hear his teeth groan with the pressure of it, that he's sure he's shaking with it, just a little. It's another thing that doesn't actually help, but that forces him to think. "I don't fucking know." There's the edge of a laugh that comes with it, something hysterical. "I want you to be safe. I know you can... take care of yourself. But I... I still want to..." His arms grow tighter, pull Sunjata in closer, as much a trailing off as it is an example.
NATE
