i don't know where home is, but i suppose it's anywhere i go that's any good at all
Sitting down seems to spark some kind of finality in Nate's mind, though he would rather anything but, would rather let the morning linger on in this soft, warm bubble. Would rather not have to step into the swirl that lurks just under the tightly clamped lid of calm, while his focus is pulled elsewhere. That manages to poke it's head up, when he least expects it, when he has no one around to help work it through, even if he wanted to.
Nate's getting ahead of himself though, throwing his mind forward when it's much better suited for the now, the hand moving from his hair down to his leg, and teeth poking out from between lips, his own joke reflected back at him. "I was kind of hoping there was nothing on your agenda today, actually." His voice hovers right on a razers edge, as likely to drop into a sullen darkness as it is to bounce in to a joke, and for a moment Nate teeters, before a grin splits his face. "I wouldn't say no to a few bites though, if you wanted."
His face sobers again, serious, and intense as he watches Sunjata take his first bite, parts of him loosening, relaxing, when the reaction is positive. In any other moment, any other morning, it wouldn't matter so much, but this is not any other moment, or any other morning. This is now, breakfast a sanctuary he can cling to, as long as it's done right.
But there is a moment of scandalized surprised on Nate's face as Sunjata claims credit for breakfast, his lips curling around another bite. He was swallows quickly, fast enough that he should choke, though it's been a while since his body cared about what it should do, and he needs to get a laugh out without spraying food. "You did a good job. Maybe next time we can get you past stirring and onto chopping." He reaches out to nudge Sunjata's arm with the words, the idea of cooking together making something in the back of his jaw, in his chest ache. The kind of thing he'd never even let himself imagine, because it was never going to happen, but now...
Now.
Now he had it, and he had no idea how to hold onto it, except to try to cling, to dig his heels in and refuse to let things change again. It was unsustainable, and the more he tried, the more explosively it would fall apart.
He tries to not think about it instead, at least for now, tries to focus on the meal. Slower than Sunjata, half on purpose, so there's something to offer when the other man cleans his plate, and half because he's trying to savour every little bit of taste he can, in lieu of any need for the food.
Nate's getting ahead of himself though, throwing his mind forward when it's much better suited for the now, the hand moving from his hair down to his leg, and teeth poking out from between lips, his own joke reflected back at him. "I was kind of hoping there was nothing on your agenda today, actually." His voice hovers right on a razers edge, as likely to drop into a sullen darkness as it is to bounce in to a joke, and for a moment Nate teeters, before a grin splits his face. "I wouldn't say no to a few bites though, if you wanted."
His face sobers again, serious, and intense as he watches Sunjata take his first bite, parts of him loosening, relaxing, when the reaction is positive. In any other moment, any other morning, it wouldn't matter so much, but this is not any other moment, or any other morning. This is now, breakfast a sanctuary he can cling to, as long as it's done right.
But there is a moment of scandalized surprised on Nate's face as Sunjata claims credit for breakfast, his lips curling around another bite. He was swallows quickly, fast enough that he should choke, though it's been a while since his body cared about what it should do, and he needs to get a laugh out without spraying food. "You did a good job. Maybe next time we can get you past stirring and onto chopping." He reaches out to nudge Sunjata's arm with the words, the idea of cooking together making something in the back of his jaw, in his chest ache. The kind of thing he'd never even let himself imagine, because it was never going to happen, but now...
Now.
Now he had it, and he had no idea how to hold onto it, except to try to cling, to dig his heels in and refuse to let things change again. It was unsustainable, and the more he tried, the more explosively it would fall apart.
He tries to not think about it instead, at least for now, tries to focus on the meal. Slower than Sunjata, half on purpose, so there's something to offer when the other man cleans his plate, and half because he's trying to savour every little bit of taste he can, in lieu of any need for the food.
NATE
