”Loren has gone… to Halo?” Jigano repeated, surprised at the news though… given what had happened to Abasi, perhaps it was understandable. He sighed softly in regret for his friend’s grief, nodding at Maea’s point, but he arched a brow at the rebuke. ”The Loreseekers are here precisely for people to come ask questions of, in a central location easy to find,” he pointed out mildly. ”And one of our members had been in the process of setting up a school. That the world has given him other concerns that have changed those plans puts him in a far worse place right now than it puts many others.” Other than those who had also lost loved ones at Fiat Lux, perhaps. Maea’s lack of patience or empathy with that – indeed, that she would return after a year’s absence to immediately begin casting judgment on a Guild she hadn’t been around to support – prickled beneath Jigano’s skin, reminding him again of the last time they had spoken in the Guildhall before her illness and subsequent disappearance.
”To be honest, Maea? I don’t know,” he said frankly, meeting her pale gaze with his blue one, steady and worried for her. ”You weren’t here for what she did. That’s not your fault, but there is a great deal of nuance that you missed… and a great many things and people that have changed in your absence. I am not the man you knew… and given that you don’t know what happened to you for that year of your disappearance, and how swiftly you wish to join the forces of someone who tried to tear this guild down, I’m not sure I know you anymore, either.” Was he begin stubborn? Absolutely. Zariah and Wessex always brought out the worst in him, but he had earned that anger in ways that Maea had not taken time to try and understand, and he felt confident that the senior members of the guild felt similarly. Sam had gone into hiding and Amalia had been threatened directly, after all, during the Tyrant's reign.
In the time of the Guild’s greatest challenge the only other Loreseeker had been Caiside, and he was now dead.
That, as much as anything, struck a wound in a heart that was growing tired of hurting. He had learned his lesson, though; he would not run away a mere year after learning it the hard way. He arched a brow at her defensive tone, flicking his gaze to Sunjata and finally raising a hand to rub his brow. ”So you thought that ambushing me with reinforcements to outnumber me would make me more receptive to an idea you already knew wouldn’t stand on its own?” he pointed out to Maea dryly before turning to her companion. ”And no, I didn’t know she tried to recruit you, though I’m not surprised. As you might recall from the town meeting, Zariah doesn’t always respond to logic. Remember her saying that anyone should feel free to speak up and then promptly silencing all dissent? It wouldn’t be the first time she issues an invitation and then reneges on it.” He arched a brow as the Flood then went the same route Zariah had, albeit with far less malice. ”Did you ask Deimos this, or are you assuming? He has his own plans in motion… and with a little luck, Amalia will be back on her feet sooner rather than later.” A dirty trick, trying to manipulate him with Amalia’s name and he flashed his tall friend a sharp-toothed grin that held little humor.
”But since you are concerned, I will add a magic class to my schedule. The Voice will be delighted, I’m sure,” he added under his breath, feeling the heavy weight of the sphere in his pocket, dragging his heart down with a burden he’d never asked for. One more thing he didn’t have time for… but Caido had never been kind enough to wait for anyone to heal or even catch their breaths, so he didn’t expect it to start now.
He just hadn’t expected his friends to be the catalysts behind this most recent push. Ah well. Sleep was for the dead.
He turned to look at Maea and his gaze was glacial as she threw away the Guild’s honor and purpose, seeing the teeth she tried to hide behind a façade of sweetness, and remembering… remembering that grab for power, that unwillingness to even consider backing down from ambition that had so reminded him of the Voice that day last Flowerbirth, before she had gone away where none could follow. Exactly as Zariah had, at the Voice's behest, he realized belatedly. ”Not everyone is, no,” he corrected her, just as gently. ”And the morality of what we do and how we use the knowledge we hold matters a great deal – no less than the way it is gained. This is what sets us apart from rumormongers and those who would simply sell information to the highest bidder. This was a conversation I had to have with Sam during the Blight… I had not expected to need to have it with you.” He shook his head slightly, rising to collect his tea cup. ”What I would use this knowledge for…” he glanced to Sunjata, who had been there when Maea had not, at least for some of it. ”The Loreseekers used it to repair the Atheneum and other buildings with blueprints and manuals when we lacked the experience ourselves. To explore beyond the barrier, into the Greatwood and to the edges of the godstorms. To gather Efas Herb to give to the Infirmary for aid with fevers and other ailments. It’s been used to heal wounds and build defenses against the likes of Zariah when the rebellion was coming together, and it was used to help trace the Blight’s source to the Voice. It was used to better understand the monsters of LongNight, and to speak with one and live, and to earn allies among the Fae when their warchief sought to keep our people apart. This ‘hoard’ has helped many, as it was meant to, thanks to the work of Loreseekers who have found it, studied it, and shared it back into the world. The world has moved on in your absence, Maea… and despite the losses we have suffered, this Guild has done much as well, even if you have not had time to read our Archives and learn of it.” It felt as though none of their accomplishments mattered to her, since she had not been there to witness them, and he watched her with weary eyes, ice melting to sadness that she would be so dismissive of those who had fought and struggled, disappeared and died, been captured or hunted in this Guild she so belittled for its holding to the ideals it had been founded on.
”The truth, Maea? Is that you came here today knowing at least something of the past Zariah has with the Loreseekers. Knowing I wouldn’t approve, so you brought someone else to try and pressure me into agreeing because you knew your own points were not enough.” Later he would be hurt that she trusted him so little, and he would wonder how differently the conversation would have gone without Sunjata there; a friendly presence but an outsider to the Guild, in a conversation that centered around what it meant to be a Loreseeker. Later… perhaps with Sunjata himself at the bar. But not now. ”The truth is that you have shown a lack of understanding of what this guild is based around by intending to gain knowledge from Zariah through deception. Unnecessary deception, it sounds like, given Sunjata’s agents already in place,” he added with a respectful nod to his fellow guildmaster. ”If you will give neither Deimos nor myself a chance to help you control your magic, nor learn from Sunjata’s spies, then I will not stop you from going to her yourself – as an Advocate, if that is the road you wish to walk. It is your choice, and though I will disagree with it, I will respect your decision, and I will remain your friend. But if you do this you will no longer be a Loreseeker. Not just because of my personal bias against Zariah, but because of the arguments you’ve given in favor of being a spy rather than a scholar, and a willingness to ignore those in this Guild who rebelled against her to see it survive so you would have something to return to.” He spoke firmly, though there was a sense of loss already in his eyes as he watched Maea across the table, wondering if the name so recently reinstated in the Guild Chronicle would need to be struck again so soon.
”To be honest, Maea? I don’t know,” he said frankly, meeting her pale gaze with his blue one, steady and worried for her. ”You weren’t here for what she did. That’s not your fault, but there is a great deal of nuance that you missed… and a great many things and people that have changed in your absence. I am not the man you knew… and given that you don’t know what happened to you for that year of your disappearance, and how swiftly you wish to join the forces of someone who tried to tear this guild down, I’m not sure I know you anymore, either.” Was he begin stubborn? Absolutely. Zariah and Wessex always brought out the worst in him, but he had earned that anger in ways that Maea had not taken time to try and understand, and he felt confident that the senior members of the guild felt similarly. Sam had gone into hiding and Amalia had been threatened directly, after all, during the Tyrant's reign.
In the time of the Guild’s greatest challenge the only other Loreseeker had been Caiside, and he was now dead.
That, as much as anything, struck a wound in a heart that was growing tired of hurting. He had learned his lesson, though; he would not run away a mere year after learning it the hard way. He arched a brow at her defensive tone, flicking his gaze to Sunjata and finally raising a hand to rub his brow. ”So you thought that ambushing me with reinforcements to outnumber me would make me more receptive to an idea you already knew wouldn’t stand on its own?” he pointed out to Maea dryly before turning to her companion. ”And no, I didn’t know she tried to recruit you, though I’m not surprised. As you might recall from the town meeting, Zariah doesn’t always respond to logic. Remember her saying that anyone should feel free to speak up and then promptly silencing all dissent? It wouldn’t be the first time she issues an invitation and then reneges on it.” He arched a brow as the Flood then went the same route Zariah had, albeit with far less malice. ”Did you ask Deimos this, or are you assuming? He has his own plans in motion… and with a little luck, Amalia will be back on her feet sooner rather than later.” A dirty trick, trying to manipulate him with Amalia’s name and he flashed his tall friend a sharp-toothed grin that held little humor.
”But since you are concerned, I will add a magic class to my schedule. The Voice will be delighted, I’m sure,” he added under his breath, feeling the heavy weight of the sphere in his pocket, dragging his heart down with a burden he’d never asked for. One more thing he didn’t have time for… but Caido had never been kind enough to wait for anyone to heal or even catch their breaths, so he didn’t expect it to start now.
He just hadn’t expected his friends to be the catalysts behind this most recent push. Ah well. Sleep was for the dead.
He turned to look at Maea and his gaze was glacial as she threw away the Guild’s honor and purpose, seeing the teeth she tried to hide behind a façade of sweetness, and remembering… remembering that grab for power, that unwillingness to even consider backing down from ambition that had so reminded him of the Voice that day last Flowerbirth, before she had gone away where none could follow. Exactly as Zariah had, at the Voice's behest, he realized belatedly. ”Not everyone is, no,” he corrected her, just as gently. ”And the morality of what we do and how we use the knowledge we hold matters a great deal – no less than the way it is gained. This is what sets us apart from rumormongers and those who would simply sell information to the highest bidder. This was a conversation I had to have with Sam during the Blight… I had not expected to need to have it with you.” He shook his head slightly, rising to collect his tea cup. ”What I would use this knowledge for…” he glanced to Sunjata, who had been there when Maea had not, at least for some of it. ”The Loreseekers used it to repair the Atheneum and other buildings with blueprints and manuals when we lacked the experience ourselves. To explore beyond the barrier, into the Greatwood and to the edges of the godstorms. To gather Efas Herb to give to the Infirmary for aid with fevers and other ailments. It’s been used to heal wounds and build defenses against the likes of Zariah when the rebellion was coming together, and it was used to help trace the Blight’s source to the Voice. It was used to better understand the monsters of LongNight, and to speak with one and live, and to earn allies among the Fae when their warchief sought to keep our people apart. This ‘hoard’ has helped many, as it was meant to, thanks to the work of Loreseekers who have found it, studied it, and shared it back into the world. The world has moved on in your absence, Maea… and despite the losses we have suffered, this Guild has done much as well, even if you have not had time to read our Archives and learn of it.” It felt as though none of their accomplishments mattered to her, since she had not been there to witness them, and he watched her with weary eyes, ice melting to sadness that she would be so dismissive of those who had fought and struggled, disappeared and died, been captured or hunted in this Guild she so belittled for its holding to the ideals it had been founded on.
”The truth, Maea? Is that you came here today knowing at least something of the past Zariah has with the Loreseekers. Knowing I wouldn’t approve, so you brought someone else to try and pressure me into agreeing because you knew your own points were not enough.” Later he would be hurt that she trusted him so little, and he would wonder how differently the conversation would have gone without Sunjata there; a friendly presence but an outsider to the Guild, in a conversation that centered around what it meant to be a Loreseeker. Later… perhaps with Sunjata himself at the bar. But not now. ”The truth is that you have shown a lack of understanding of what this guild is based around by intending to gain knowledge from Zariah through deception. Unnecessary deception, it sounds like, given Sunjata’s agents already in place,” he added with a respectful nod to his fellow guildmaster. ”If you will give neither Deimos nor myself a chance to help you control your magic, nor learn from Sunjata’s spies, then I will not stop you from going to her yourself – as an Advocate, if that is the road you wish to walk. It is your choice, and though I will disagree with it, I will respect your decision, and I will remain your friend. But if you do this you will no longer be a Loreseeker. Not just because of my personal bias against Zariah, but because of the arguments you’ve given in favor of being a spy rather than a scholar, and a willingness to ignore those in this Guild who rebelled against her to see it survive so you would have something to return to.” He spoke firmly, though there was a sense of loss already in his eyes as he watched Maea across the table, wondering if the name so recently reinstated in the Guild Chronicle would need to be struck again so soon.
