You Sweet Fool

Ashetta’s throat constricted with the way Vai held her. Unfamiliar and so deeply known and wanted all at once, and she had to swallow hard against the swelling emotion. Nothing is final until you no longer have breath to draw. It was hard to believe that. There were nothing but absolutes her whole life, one or the other and always in extremes. She blinked rapidly against the burning in her eyes and stared hard at the ground with a heavy breath. Her mother was right, she knew she was. Alistair was right to leave and right to find a better life for himself. Gods, more than anything, she wanted him to move on. To be happy. Her lip trembled, and she hugged her knees closer to herself. Did she want to be happy too? She’d had it. Touched it, had seen it. And she hadn’t known what to do with it. She didn’t know how to hold peace in her hands when they had been clenched with violence and blood since she was just a child. How was she supposed to live a life that had been as distant as a fairytale her whole life? One she’d never been taught about, one she’d never even been allowed to think about? She glanced up at Vervain with round eyes, hands clenching over her arms. Her mother wouldn’t leave her. Ashe stared at her in silence, as if she couldn’t quite process that concept: unconditional love. I won’t leave you now. She should. It would be better for her, wouldn’t it? She looked back down and bite the inside of her lip. Her voice a quiet, shaking sound when she finally spoke. ”I’m a really bad person, Mom.” ashetta it's live or die my way.