Sohalia
Soh listened, uncomfortable and something else she couldn't quite name - ashamed, maybe? Because despite her instinctual feeling that it wasn't just that she wanted to have her cake and eat it too, there was some truth to what Koa said. And she didn't know how to explain what she was feeling without it sounding even more like she just wanted everything without having to make a choice.
And the truth was, she didn't know where Jude's head was at currently. He'd been open to polyamory before she'd gone and fucked everything up, but now... would it just be a disaster? Would everything go, as Koa so elegantly put it, tits up? Or was this something that they could have a chance at? Was she just deluding herself?
She couldn't quite meet Koa's gaze, an ache in her chest at the hurt that shone clearly from his eyes. "I understand that that's what it sounds like," she admitted. "But it's - it's more complicated than that." But she knew it was a weak argument. When she continued, her voice was soft. "Look, maybe this is crazy, and I get that, I do. And I don't want to hurt you again." It had been a mistake the first time. If she'd just been open and honest to begin with, if she'd just recognized her feelings for what they were... would things have turned out differently?
Soh sighed. She didn't know what to do with this situation, and her head was beginning to ache from the tension. She had to resist the urge to reach for his hand, as much for her comfort as for his. "If you want to walk away, I understand. If you want to hear from Jude, I understand that, too. It's... you don't have to decide right now, if you don't want to. I just wanted to - to be honest, and to put it out there. And if that was a mistake, then I'm truly sorry."
And the truth was, she didn't know where Jude's head was at currently. He'd been open to polyamory before she'd gone and fucked everything up, but now... would it just be a disaster? Would everything go, as Koa so elegantly put it, tits up? Or was this something that they could have a chance at? Was she just deluding herself?
She couldn't quite meet Koa's gaze, an ache in her chest at the hurt that shone clearly from his eyes. "I understand that that's what it sounds like," she admitted. "But it's - it's more complicated than that." But she knew it was a weak argument. When she continued, her voice was soft. "Look, maybe this is crazy, and I get that, I do. And I don't want to hurt you again." It had been a mistake the first time. If she'd just been open and honest to begin with, if she'd just recognized her feelings for what they were... would things have turned out differently?
Soh sighed. She didn't know what to do with this situation, and her head was beginning to ache from the tension. She had to resist the urge to reach for his hand, as much for her comfort as for his. "If you want to walk away, I understand. If you want to hear from Jude, I understand that, too. It's... you don't have to decide right now, if you don't want to. I just wanted to - to be honest, and to put it out there. And if that was a mistake, then I'm truly sorry."
Minor powerplay allowed without permission.
Feel free to use force/magic on Sohalia.
Feel free to use force/magic on Sohalia.
