JUDE
the light of dawn is coming
It feels ridiculous to be standing on the edge of a massacre holding back tears not because of the bodies but because of his brother's kindness. Jude should have known he couldn't hide anything from Edmund. He hadn't been able to his entire life, mostly because he'd never imagined not sharing every little secret and life change with the person he loved most. It's almost painful to realize how little has changed when so much else has. Jude most of all.
Jude doesn't know how not to suppress it though. Like his father, he believes it's better to hide those less palatable emotions, grin and bear it and pretend nobody can see. He doesn't know how to be angry, like Edmund says he can be, while still wanting to accept the hug that his brother offers.
He turns, arms still wrapped around himself, and stares red-eyed at Edmund's open arms. It doesn't take long to tilt himself into them, hands gripping the back of his brother's shirt now in a manner more desperate than angry. Bloodsoaked or not, he just wants to be held.
"Everyone just keeps leaving," he grits out, trembling all over from trying to hold tight to his composure and not give into his tears, an eternally sensitive young man. "Mom, and maman, and you, and -" Sohalia. But his brother won't know who that is. And hadn't Jude been the one to leave anyway? "I just want to stop being left behind. I got older because I was kept trying to chase after all of you but being bigger didn't help." His legs had gotten longer, his mind had gotten wiser, but the people he loved just kept pulling farther away.
Jude doesn't know how not to suppress it though. Like his father, he believes it's better to hide those less palatable emotions, grin and bear it and pretend nobody can see. He doesn't know how to be angry, like Edmund says he can be, while still wanting to accept the hug that his brother offers.
He turns, arms still wrapped around himself, and stares red-eyed at Edmund's open arms. It doesn't take long to tilt himself into them, hands gripping the back of his brother's shirt now in a manner more desperate than angry. Bloodsoaked or not, he just wants to be held.
"Everyone just keeps leaving," he grits out, trembling all over from trying to hold tight to his composure and not give into his tears, an eternally sensitive young man. "Mom, and maman, and you, and -" Sohalia. But his brother won't know who that is. And hadn't Jude been the one to leave anyway? "I just want to stop being left behind. I got older because I was kept trying to chase after all of you but being bigger didn't help." His legs had gotten longer, his mind had gotten wiser, but the people he loved just kept pulling farther away.
ready to return everything the darkness stole
