How long can I be a sad song?

Secrets I have held in my heart
Are harder to hide than I thought

Jude lets her guide him to the couch, sinking down onto it and immediately putting his head in his hands, bony elbows digging into the tops of his thighs as he sinks his fingers into his curls - a trait inherited from his father. Where does he even begin?

"I found maman," he blurts out first, because despite how much it had changed things, it's strangely the easiest part now. "And I brought her home, but she and dad aren't together anymore and it's so hard at the house now." Now that he has started talking he can feel the holes in the dam beginning to widen and break, letting more and more through. "Then I started dating Sohalia, and everything was going great - then she became Stormbreak's leader, and I was thinking of moving there, and -" it's far from enough detail, he's sure of it, but the words stream out in a rush as his breaths come a little too fast and the sting behind his eyes develops into full tears.

"And then we had a fight and I left and found Edmund and we got attacked -" which is a lie, he's lying to his mom, but he has to. He has to lie to everyone to keep his brother safe. "And he had to kill them because they wouldn't stop and now everything's all wrong." And then he just...cries. Because he doesn't know what else to do. Pressing his palms to his eyes as his shoulders shake, practically curling into himself as he sits beside her, crushed by the weight of so much happening in such a short time.

I'm standing at the edge of the world
Where do I go from here? Do I disappear?

Jude