responsibilities

There's all these secrets I can't keep
Like in my heart there's a hotel suite

Her dismay helps him balance the scales, attempting to disconnect from his own guilt (at least until he can think over it later in private) so that she doesn’t feel so distressed. Jude doesn’t think she did anything wrong, but he can see how everyone except himself has been hurt by what happened, and it makes it too easy to feel like it’s his fault somehow. Or, at the very least, like he has escaped unfairly unscathed compared to Koa and Sohalia. It doesn’t help that he is learning all of this incredibly belatedly.

“You didn’t do anything wrong either. You just went on a few dates; people do that every day.” She couldn’t have possibly controlled Koa’s swift adoration of her (not that Jude blames him) or her own attachment. “It’s okay if you liked him more than you thought, or if it upset you. You know that, right?” He gently touches her cheek, brows furrowed with clear worry as his thumb gently begins to stroke over her skin. “I’m just sorry.” For her, for Koa, for the situation. If he was older or more eloquent maybe he could fix this faster, but all he has is his empathy and regret.

Jude pulls her closer until her thighs are more over his lap than her calves, wrapping his arms around her. “Well I can’t even imagine up anything that big that I could decide on, so I think we’re safe.” His life is plainly boring aside from her shining light. Jude can’t even imagine something that big ever seeking him out or Jude orchestrating it himself.

And you lived there so long
It's kinda strange, now you're gone

Jude